the future?

the hills were way intense. but i have a feeling that if i do go there, i'd love it. uc santa cruz is covered with treeees, and it feels amazzzziinnggg-- like you're forever in a theme/state park camping on vacation.

my tour was at 1:00pm and i was super nervous that i wasn't going to make it on time since we left the house at 10:00am! however, we made it on time, despite getting lost and driving back and forth relentlessly! i've never been down to socal (though santa cruz is not really socal), so the car ride was really interesting, just looking at the scenery. tommy came along too, but he mainly slept on the way there, so we did not get to share the beauty of the scenery together. however we did enjoy looking at the billions of cows on the way back home, and were pretty surprised to see that ucsc has their own cows on their own farm when we got on campus! however i think we were more surprised when we came upon deers running around on our excursion back to the car. what can i say, it was a day full of surprises. and i think my parents like ucsc too... they just don't want me to go to school so far away.

overall i really like santa cruz. it's close to the beach, but it doesnt really feel like a beach-crazed campus (atleast to me). and you can hide up in the hills on the campus when you want to get away from the crowded city-life, but the campus itself is also very lively and energetic, so it's never completely deserted. i'm not sure really how friendly everyone is, since i didn't really talk to anyone and i was only there for the tour, but the people that i did talk to were friendly. and i thought it was really cool how the buildings are built like legos, so that if they ever want to move a building, get rid of it, or builid a new one, all they have to do is dissemble the pieces and it's as if it was never there at all--very eco-friendly. plus it's super nice how the boardwalk is a heartbeat away. and that the town is kinda in the middle of everything, so it's not too far from home or from other big fun places like LA and SF :) but i can't really decide until my financial aid packet comes in. and i HAVE to go visit mills college as well, before i can make my decision. however as of right now, it could be both schools or neither. it really all depends.

it's funny though, because today i took two quizzes on facebook, one about what uc i belong to and the other about what city in california would suit me, and it turned out that uc santa cruz and oakland are my perfect matches. i know you can't rely on random internet quizzes, but i still felt like it was a funny and interesting coincidence.

AHHH! SPRING BREAK IS OFFICIALLY OVER AFTER TOMORROWWWW!

-pachia is pooped

a gloomy sunny day.

I KNOW! I’m guilty.

Spring break has been keeping me busy.. and tired! I haven’t really been online all week, except for when I was at my aunts house. But those two days seemed to have passed by like *snaps* that! Anyways, break was good. I’m just sad that its over. Now I have to stop being lazy and move onto things like (ck said) ap tests, finals, sats, college! Ahhh! I’m just glad my finals aren’t any time that soon. Although I have a few tests this week, along with a term paper for photography due Friday that I totally forgot about :o But I’ll get things together. I always do, even if I have to pass pre-calculus and physics with a D and C again this semester (although I assure you that mistake will not happen again).

So the other day I was watching Hilary Clinton on demand. I felt like I needed to actually understand what was going on with the presidential candidates, so I saw a commercial about Comcast having a section on it and went to go watch it. It was interesting listening to all the different ideas she has set for America, and she actually won me over! But I haven’t been able to find Obama’s little section, so I can’t make up my mind yet. Although I’m pretty sure I’m not going to side with Senator McCain. My mom’s going to get her citizenship pretty soon, and she’s excited about voting for Clinton. She’s into the whole idea of a female for president, which I think is a little ridiculous. She should take into consideration all of the other aspects that the candidates have to offer, and not just Hilary being a woman. But she actually brought up some good points about her that made me understand why she’s going to vote for her.

Goodness. There's just too much going on in the world to fix.

BLAH! I hate school. I just hated today. It was horrible. I wanted to sleep in every class. I’m so drained that I have nothing to say anymore. I’m just worried. Really worried about everything! Does everyone go through these pangs of worried-ness during this age? I feel so weird. Like I need a longer vacation, maybe, I’m not sure. But my friend let me borrow her SATs book, so I’m glad about that. It’s so thick! Now all I need to do, is just go sign up for SATs. I don’t think I’m going to be able to go to that Kanye West concert anymore, because I’m going to be busy spending too much money on tests and a yearbook. I know my parents will get mad if I spend too much money.

Here are some pictures from that guy I’m doing my photography term paper on. Richard Avedon. He has some crazy pictures.

I’ll post up an entry with a bunch of pictures from spring break soon, when I’m not busy worrying about my life. I haven’t talked to ck for… five days!

-PACHIA :(

nooooo. my break is ending.

WHY OH WHY DOES SPRING BREAK LAST A WEEK? I am dreading the end of this weekend. Back to school and we HAVE FINALS. How horrible is that. Augh. Life is becoming sucky after such a beautiful week. I have a pile of homework to do and I am dreading to do it. I have to clean my room too. This is why I hate SUNDAYS!!!!

So I have wasted the last two days with this:

I am usually pretty late with social networks. I usually refuse to get them but I eventually give in. Whatever. Facebook is pretty okay. I just enjoy having superpoke wars. But now I am already bored with it. But I regret getting it after this break. Because I will probably end up hours on it along with myspace and soompi and not do my homework. You horrible people who make these addicting social networks and forums. YOU RUIN LIVES. Think of the grades that have lowered because of your addicting website. I think I have gotten steadily worse in school ever since I discovered the wonders of the internet back in sixth grade. All the hours I wasted not studying. Wish I could have slapped myself back then. Don't you just hate yourself when you realize how stupid you were a couple years ago and how you could have benefited yourself now if you have changed stupid habits like that. Yes I know that is confusing but you get the jist right.

Yesterday I spent an hour trying to fix the vacumn with my brother. I broke the vacumn, I don't know how but it broke. Well we were able to unscrew stuff and figure out what made it work and we fixed it. I was very happy to fix it. I felt so accomplished. Maybe I can even be an engineer. Yeah right. Well I went to Borders and I decided to buy two new books. AP PREP BOOKS. WHOOT. :(
Who the hell models for these books? I bet they have never taken an AP test in their life because YOU WOULDNT WANT TO MODEL FOR THESE BOOKS. Though I do life how culturally accurate they make these AP prep books by trying to promote diversity with covers with different ethnicities. I bet so that way those white supremist kids can say "ill buy the prep book with the white kid on the cover because it is better". Well I do thank the people who write these prep books because all the ap procastinators in the world would not be able to survive without them. Or else we would just have to read our textbooks. And that would suck. Though I can proudly say I read 95% of my AP US history textbook. And I am very proud to say I read like 96% of my AP World History textbook (except I skipped all the crappy inset pages). The AP World book was horrible and I cannot believe a college student can read it let alone a little sophmore like me last year. Sigh the things we do to get into college. I am sure there are kids out there sacrificing a limb or two for the college they want to get into. I am horrified at the college application system and all the greedy middlemen involved in the process. We have to at least pay like $60 for a freaking application even if we don't get into the college. How sucky is that. Very sucky. It is already horrible enough that our parents save since we are born for our college education, they get broke the first year we get into college. Well that is what student loans are for rightttt? Yep, the minute I get out of college and get into the workforce, I have to pay for the stupid ass degree that I worked my ass for. And for some people, they can't even get a decent job with their degree. They end up working at Verizon or for their parents' restaurants/dry cleaners (yes I know people who have ended up like this). Is this what America was made for?

So I read a book at Borders today (well I skimmed) about baby boomers and their good deeds and how so many of them are becoming philanthropists and the first page was on congratulating on the baby boomers for being alive for so damn long and for realizing that they are alive and kicking and they want to keep working. And it went on to talk about how the baby boomers were realizing all the problems in the world and they wanted to "fix them" like global warming and genocide and war in IRAQ. Well thanks baby boomers but you guys pretty much caused those freaking problems for us, generation X and Y. So it has been raining a lot in the mid-west states and why? BECAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING. Yes weird weather patterns = global warming. Well Hanh told me a couple days ago that apparently all the baby boomers are asking for their social security money NOW (because they raised the age up and the economy is getting pretty bad) and they are all getting it this year. So pretty much the social security fund is pretty dried up. Great so probably I will be working until like 90 years old if I live that long. But I mean you can't live on social security alone for retirement, that is why I see like 50 year olds working at Walmart because the cost of living is not going to covered by social security and retirement alone.

Yeah and to complain about the education system in CALIFORNIA. So the budget has been cut again by Mr. GOVERNATOR. Yes and my english ap teacher told my class she spends at least a couple $1000s on just her classes alone for PAPER and other supplies. It is pretty ridiculous. And the governor tried to pass a univeral health care proposal for California? Screw universal health care, we need to educate the people first. My school is not that poor but even we are suffering under the budget cuts. Now think about the schools who are totally below welfare zones. Those kids have no opportunity and nowadays the only way to get into a REAL college is through aps, sat scores and extracurriculars and all of those add up with MONEY. And the UCs are raising tuitions like crazy and raising the bar on the percentage of applicants. UC Davis = school that most people at my school dont want to go to because it is so close to home only accepted 5% of their applicants THIS YEAR! WTF. Everyone go apply to UC Berkley next year so I can be like the only one to apply to davis. Maybe that will give me a better chance. I hate how everyone applies to 20 colleges that they don't even care about just to see if they "get in". It is a waste of MONEY and it is unfair for the kids who apply to FIVE college because they really want those FIVE colleges. And end up getting into ZERO while those kids with their 5.6 GPAS get into ALL 20. Life is unfair. Yes it is.

And my rant about life is over. Back to thinking about doing my synthesis essay.
So where has PACHIA been? She needs to update .

--CHRISTINA

a lovely spring day

Song of that day:

Heard this song like a million times that day on the radio.
We said it will forever remind us of that day.
Hilarious to lip synch to.

Yesterday was a wonderful day. It was nothing out of the ordinary but it was very special. The weather was great. It was sunny but it wasn't too hot. The breeze was light and the the sky was a sight to see. Yesterday was what spring break stands for, peace and tranquility with friends. Yesterday I went to the American River with my closest friends and we had a BBQ/picnic. The day was just very chill. I loved it. I appreciated it very much and thank that I have so many good friends around me.

Well the day before, Michelle came over to hang out and we had to decide what we were going to wear for our day to the river. Yes we were lame but we wanted to dress cute to impress even if we didn't anyone to impress. Well we walked to El Super Taco with my brother and ate a huge meal. Surprisingly my dad came there with his two friends also but he had no idea that we had come there. I always see my dad at the randomness moments when I go out to eat. Well we decided to walk around and then we walked to Kohl's to just play around and try on clothes. Well we walked from El Super Taco to Kohls (not a bad walk, like 20 minutes? or less) and well the parking lot is very large (and new) and we were walking until we realized we hit a fence. It was a very weird area to put a fence. Why would you fence up half the parking lot? So we would have to walk all the way back to the sidewalk and around to the main street to go to Kohls. So I came up with a brilliant idea and decided we should just hop the fence. The fence was not that high, probably like a foot taller than me (i am 5'2). Well I went first and the easy part is climbing up. The hard part is putting your legs over the fence and climbing down. I was wearing a jean skirt and black leggings. Well I was kind of stuck with one leg over the fence and I just kind of jumped down and I did not die. I suceeded and I started jumping with joy because I could climb a fence. Well then I realized I had tore a HUGE rip in the side of my leggings. It was sad. I had to take them off and throw them away. Then Michelle jumped the fence after me but she had a harder time since she wore jeans (her favorite ones too) but she didnt have any clothing disasters. We tried clothes and then left. We walked home. I took Michelle through this really cool nice path that went to a bridge. Yes a random bridge in a little surburbia of houses. It was a great path and it was so beautiful with the shades of trees and everything. So Michelle and I figured one day I will show that "secret path" to someone who I really like. Totally romantic righhhhtt? Haha. Too bad the bridge is over a nasty little creek with the sides of the walls all graffitified. Well we went to my house and were totally exhausted. We just laid on my bed until she had to go home. Later Pachia came to sleep over. We watched some cute Korean movies until 1 am though we would have to wake up early.

The next day, we woke up around 7ish. We were tired as hell but we had to get ready for the day. My parents were going to take us to the river and we were going to meet up everyone there. Well Melanie had arrived while Pachia and I had barely started getting ready. Then Hanh and Mylinh arrived later. It took awhile to figure out what to wear. Then we went to go pick up Chrissa at her house and we were off. We stopped at McDonalds because my parents were hungry. We waited in the car while my parents ate because we were not that hungry. Hanh and I got into another stresssing talk about budget cuts in California, financial issues, college, etc. HAHA. That is what we always end up talking about. Well after that we were off. We got to American River first and we had to wait to see where Kimber wanted us to go BBQ and set up. Well we waited for the other people to arrive, we were by the water and THERE WAS A FISH. My dad really wanted to catch it. It was the hugest fish I had seen and it was very random. We thought it was a sign of something. Because the fish had come up so close to the shallow rocks where we were. But I didn't want to kill the fish. It was amazing. Well everyone arrived and we had to drive off to another spot. Well as soon as we could, we walked to the river. It was nice but not great for swimming. The current looked really strong in some parts. Well we went back to our spot and helped out a little for setting up. Then most of the time we were all laying around chilling, waiting for food. The hamburgers we cooked were AMAZING. Though we didn't have much vegetables, it was still good. Eating is just more joyful when you are eating it with friends in beautiful weather. We played a lot. In words, the day was not as "exciting" as it sounds but that day was just nice and simple. Just laying down in the sun was just bliss. We ate oysters, pork, chicken, and more burgers. The oysters were pretty awesome with this great sauce someone made. We were all addicted to eating them. At one point I went on a walk with little Christina, Harjot, Melanie, and Pachia. We took this path that had high grass on the sides. We just wanted to see where it led us. Little Christina took a video of us but I am sure it was boring since we had nothing interesting to say. We find a steep trail down to the rocks and I went down but everyone else was too chicken to go. They all kept saying they were waiting for me to fall down while I was going down. It was nice though. I did make it down and it was beautiful. I could not enjoy my time down though because they were all being whiny and wanted to go back. So I climbed back up. We stayed at the river from 9-4pm. We played volleyball and took lots of pictures. It was just nice. Well we packed up and my mom picked us up. The girls with me and I just chilled at my house and laid in my bed. Then we watched a movie and it was very cute but we were all so dead tired. Melanie fell asleep on the floor and we were just being lazy. It was a pretty perfect day.

The one thing that made me really appreciate the day was something Hanh said. We were watching the Korean movie, Crazy Waiting for You which is about four couples and the boyfriends are going to army for their mandatory two year military service. Well I orignally did not realize how long two years is. I was saying why is it hard for girls to keep loving their boyfriends after two years. But then Hanh was like are you crazy, two years is a long time. Well I was being silly and said, "Hanh we are going to be in college in two years." Then she made that distressed sound and said "we wont have any of THIS anymore". She pointed around and before my eyes I saw what she meant. No more of us all laying around watching movies together. No more being silly together. No more being lazy together. In the next couple of years, we are all going to be split up. It was a really sad thought and I had a little sink in my heart. I guess I was being naive to believe we would all be near each other to hang out. But even two hours away from each other is hard. But it is okay. This is why I try and treasure these memories. That is why it made me glad to appreciate that spring day. And the happiness we all shared. And the bliss.

Arriving at the Lake. Hanh and Me (look at little Christina)


I love pictures of jumping but I hate doing them.
This took us a million tries.
Pachia, Me, Chrissa


Chilling with Friends

I made it to the river,
though Harjot and Melanie were rooting for me to fall down
on the steep path.

Love. We are cheesy.

Mylinh, Me, Pachia

I totally would look perfect if I didn't have my eyes closed.

We look pretty cheesy here too.

Pachia wants to beat someone up.

Here's a better pic. Though hair = eww.

--Christina.

spppprrrinnngg breakkkkk!

YEAAAAHHHHUUHHH!! Today was such one of those days where no one pays attention and everyone is watching the clock hit 3:03. Well today was a pretty exhilarating day to get out of spring break (and happy PI day). We had a food fight at school today. I wouldn't really classify it as a scene out of the movies because I did not stick around long enough to watch (or get hit by food) but it was a classic moment for our high school. I was kind of glad to witness it. Well I had already heard rumors that a food fight was going to be started by the juniors from a friend, but I really did not think it would happen. I was just joking when I was saying I wanted to hurry up and eat and leave. I went to the lunch line and told Mylinh and Jimmy but they did not believe me. Well we were too preoccupied to think about it so we kind of forgot about the rumors. Well, of course being high school kids, rumors had already flown by and people were randomly standing around. The administrators and security were pretty alarmed of course. They started kicking out people and getting really nervous. Well I thought that since the security and vice principals were around, nothing would go down. But oohhhh I was wrong. I could feel the tension rising in the room. Everyone was hyphed out. Luckily my friends and I were prepared to escape if anything was to happen. Well then I see one of the security ladies yelling at a kid and she gets distracted, then suddenly like a ROAR and I guess it started. I didn't see food being thrown, all I saw was kids going out the door, then I looked at Tiffany and were like shiiit lets GO! So we grabbed our shit and ran for the door, almost got trampled by a bunch of kids. Everyone was rushing out and throwing food. It spilled out to the quad and we ran off. We were pretty far from the cafeteria and we could see that food was still flying out. People were running and water bottles were coming down. Then they hit the bell early and we had to walk to class. As we were walking to class, people were still throwing water bottles. Well when we got to our third period, my teacher wasn't around and we were all talking about "battle scars" and our experiences. One girl had a white hoodie and she had major casualties with chocolate milk, slushie, etc. It was a mess. Everyone was so hyphed up after that. We spent like an hour in third period talking about it. Then we had to take a Spanish test. LAMMMEE. I probably failed because my head was all jumbled. It was an interesting day for a Friday. Then in fourth period, we had a substitute teacher and our AP English teacher gave us a partner multiple choice and a timed essay. It was horrible. The class was still hyphed over the food fight, it was the last period of the day, everyone was talking about their spring break plans and the multiple choice passages were hard to read as hell. I hate SIR FRANCIS BACON. His passage was the most tongue twisting, annoying passage I have EVER READ. It was horrible. The essay was worse. But I actually got what the essay was talking about. I hate analyzing rhetorical strategies. Well I just wrote a page and a half of crap and turned it in. I was glad to be out of school for just a week. But we had PIC practice for luau. But Tiffany and I skipped the PIC meeting and hung out in her car and listened to Big BANG! Then PIC practice was sweat dropping work. Tahitian is not easy I can tell you. Do you know how hard it is to keep your butt shaking the whole time. Very hard.

Excited about SPRING BREAK. But it is only a week and I have a lot to squeeze in a week. Well if I can go (probably) to the LAKE Pachia and I. Maybe you will actually see pictures of us TOGETHER! Yeah I am excited to hang out with junior prom crew + more again. I hope it is sunny Wednesday. Yeah beach bunny time!

After that, I will be a social hermit and study. This song is definetly a song that reminds me of spring. Makes you want to stand up and dance.

The Strokes remind me of sophomore year. I was hella into them sophomore year.

- CHRISTINA

allergy season, i can feel it in the wind.

I finally ordered my boutiner (sp?). I decided cream with gold ribbon to match my dress. So no prom worries except for asking for extra money from my parents. Every time I bring up the subject of prom my mom gets very huffy and puffy. She just gets mad I am spending money but I rarely spent any money. I feel worse because I didn't spend that much money compared to my date. I feel bad just for asking money for paying for my AP tests. And I am only spending $15 because I got the reduced amount because I get free lunch. But still taking three AP tests. When my mom gave me the money she just gave me another lecture how I better do well because of the money I waste. When it comes to talk to my parents about school, it gives me a headache. It makes me want to hyperventilate. Just thinking about the stress makes it hard for me to breathe. I get very annoyed of the lectures my parents give me about my education. I know I am not numero uno in the class or even close to top ten, but I try. I have been feeling very stupid lately. I can't even get an A in Spanish 3. I feel like a loser. It is very depressing.

Anyways. So we just read Catcher in the Rye in AP English 11 and it is a pretty interesting book. I can relate to Holden to some extent but I really hated how critical he was about everyone around him. What gives him the right to call everyone "phonies" ? But I think he is a pretty interesting character. It is a hilarious read at some moments. But I think one line that stood out to me particulary at the moment I was reading was when Holden is describing this old museum he used to go to all the time when he was a kid. The museum never changed but

...the only thing that would be different would be you. Not that you'd be so much older or anything. It wouldnt be that, exactly. you'd just be different, that's all. You'd have an overcoat on this time. Or..you'd have a substitute taking the class, instead of Miss Algetinger...Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way--I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it.

Do I have a place like that? A place where time has stopped still and left it as it is but the only thing that has changed is me? Haha. That of course reminds me of the story of where I saw my old house with my mom and it wasn't the same. The house I had grown up for almost five years (not long but seems long) during my adolescence was gone. It was still there. But the new owners had changed it to a place that did not look like home to me. It was quite sad. Like a part of me had died. Like Holden I can't explain what it meant when I saw my house that was no longer mine. It was like I felt that though I had forgotten that house, that past, and the memories. They were still there and I excepted them to remain the same. But unlike Holden, I don't have a place that stays the same. But I do have a home. That is what Holden didn't have. I have a place to call home.

And gasoline rainbows. I kind of know what he meant. I think it is a really unique way to describe it though. Have you ever seen puddles made by gasoline from those gas pipes on the bottom of cars? Well of course because of the light and all that reflective crap, it makes rainbows in the gasoline. I remember seeing those. I remember when rainbows were actually magical. When I was fascinated by them and I wondered what luck it could bring me by seeing one. Haha I remember that day a week or so back that Sacramento had some rain, and that big rainbow came out. It was the hugest rainbow I had seen. My sister was like "wow, that was amazing". But guess what. I ruined it. I was like "yeah well rainbows are actually not magical, they are made from blah blah blah". WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. WHERE HAS MY CHILDHOOD GONE? WHERE HAS MY SENSE OF IMAGINATION GONE? I am slowly becoming a lifeless being who only breathes and lives by trying to have good grades, who looks like a perfect being on the outside, who is trying to please everyone, at the same time trying to please herself by trying to fit herself into an ideal. I am a sad child. But don't worry. I am fine. I am normal. I am still on ground. Though I can worry up a storm. There are those few moments when I know I am enjoying myself and I can enjoy that moment without worry. Only those few moments to myself is when I begin to worry. Just being by myself can be scary. Then everything rushes into my mind.


But yeah I have been pretty tired this week. I feel asleep the last two nights reading Catcher in the Rye to try and finish it before the Socratic Seminar today. Even though I went to bed considerably early at 10pm. I still felt tired. And today I sacrificed my sleeping in to take that EAP test. It was pretty easy but I need sleep. And next week I have to do AP US and AP English full length ap practice tests on the days we get to "sleep in" if we are not taking CASHEE testing but I won't be sleeping in. And AP Chem is having labs both those mornings so I have to copy labs from people. AUGH. I am dying. Cheer me up someone. :[ ...JR prom better knock my socks off and make me happy.

sorry for the long ass tired rant.

--CHRISTINA WANTS SPRING BREAK NOW!