what has happened?

high school is ending forever!

-pachia

mission: to get my life back on track

I am having one of those "awake at 3am" moments. Ever since I read about it in Emily's Quest, I've been thinking what they feel like. Let me tell you, not good.

Here is why I am having one of those moments. Senior year is the worst year because procrastination becomes like a sickness. I thought I was able to fight it off junior year and I was sort of handling it this year. But it has become worse as spring break has gone by. Why? Because I know I got into the college I want and I do not care much of high school except to get decent grades (hello to STRAIGHT C's!) and get my diploma. No I won't get straight C's, I have too much pride, but I am going down that ugly road. I could not go to sleep because of anxiety over my ap literature homework, spring break is over, I need to face my troubles, I am graduating, I am thinking about how graduation day will be, my senior project is a mess, etc.

So TO SOLVE THIS, time for a list.

things need to be done by end of this month:

1. senior project needs to be DONE?!!?!?!?!? 3 weeks to get a book or something.
2. suck up and start doing homework for my classes on time.
3. take lots of photos for photo1 and my book.
4. turn in stuff for ucsd (fasfa verification forms before may1st)
5. cram for aps; start to CARE again
6. get a senior ball dress
7. pay dues for sober grad night, yearbook, etc.
   

I may need to add more to this list.

I hope I will get motivation for life again. And get over my anxiety.

I did some portraits for photo1 and they came out interesting. I've been watching lots of movies over spring break and I will do post about them later.

---christina.

the future?

the hills were way intense. but i have a feeling that if i do go there, i'd love it. uc santa cruz is covered with treeees, and it feels amazzzziinnggg-- like you're forever in a theme/state park camping on vacation.

my tour was at 1:00pm and i was super nervous that i wasn't going to make it on time since we left the house at 10:00am! however, we made it on time, despite getting lost and driving back and forth relentlessly! i've never been down to socal (though santa cruz is not really socal), so the car ride was really interesting, just looking at the scenery. tommy came along too, but he mainly slept on the way there, so we did not get to share the beauty of the scenery together. however we did enjoy looking at the billions of cows on the way back home, and were pretty surprised to see that ucsc has their own cows on their own farm when we got on campus! however i think we were more surprised when we came upon deers running around on our excursion back to the car. what can i say, it was a day full of surprises. and i think my parents like ucsc too... they just don't want me to go to school so far away.

overall i really like santa cruz. it's close to the beach, but it doesnt really feel like a beach-crazed campus (atleast to me). and you can hide up in the hills on the campus when you want to get away from the crowded city-life, but the campus itself is also very lively and energetic, so it's never completely deserted. i'm not sure really how friendly everyone is, since i didn't really talk to anyone and i was only there for the tour, but the people that i did talk to were friendly. and i thought it was really cool how the buildings are built like legos, so that if they ever want to move a building, get rid of it, or builid a new one, all they have to do is dissemble the pieces and it's as if it was never there at all--very eco-friendly. plus it's super nice how the boardwalk is a heartbeat away. and that the town is kinda in the middle of everything, so it's not too far from home or from other big fun places like LA and SF :) but i can't really decide until my financial aid packet comes in. and i HAVE to go visit mills college as well, before i can make my decision. however as of right now, it could be both schools or neither. it really all depends.

it's funny though, because today i took two quizzes on facebook, one about what uc i belong to and the other about what city in california would suit me, and it turned out that uc santa cruz and oakland are my perfect matches. i know you can't rely on random internet quizzes, but i still felt like it was a funny and interesting coincidence.

AHHH! SPRING BREAK IS OFFICIALLY OVER AFTER TOMORROWWWW!

-pachia is pooped

Mountaineers

my clearlake family excursion went pretty swell :) family time is always fun, and this time it was just as good. we stayed in a resort with one couch, two armchairs, two bathrooms, four stovetops, and seven beds, which sounds like a lot, but when packed with 26 people (half of which were crazy little crazy kiddies!!), it becomes pretty hectic. but nevertheless, it was still fun. we went picnicking, fishing, and swimming--the usual family activities--and i felt like we were cooking nonstop 24/7. i took lots of pictures, especially driving around looking at the scenery, but i'm sad now because i barely have any pictures of myself!










aren't all of my babies cuuute?!

PACHIA!

the freaking future.

Like many other high school seniors (in California I guess), I went to visit college(s) this weekend. I visited my college of choice: UC SAN DIEGO!!! So I was anticipating all week for that weekend trip to get spring break STARTED!!! Well we left Friday evening. It was just my parents, my sister Bella, me, and Kingston. I wanted to take Kingston to show him the place before he turned it down. He turned it down anyway but at least we had a fun time. I dont think I would have been as entertained without him and his DS! Let me say I think I will forever suck at tetris. It was an interesting 8 hour trip there and then 8 hours back. Well we drove straight to SD. A couple hours in, we stopped at Dennys for dinner. Did you know there is a Denny's at every freaking rest stop!?!? I ate a french toast grand slam for dinner. On the way out, I missed a sensation. As we were walking out, a couple people were walking in and I walked out first and was looking at the ground for some reason but my sister and Kingston were like OMG did you see that after we walked a bit away. Apparently some old guy had a crazy handlebar mustache. I was sad to have missed it. Even my mom saw it.

We drove for hours and then stopped at a rest stop to rest but we were all restless so we drove to Mcdonalds near the school. We got to the school at like 7 am. It was pretty deserted. The campus was pretty big. I didn't fall in love with it at first but gradually it grew on me. I really liked the ERC program and SO MANY CHANCES TO STUDY ABROAD OMMMMGGG!!! It is a dream, though I am sure it is a hassle to have so many writing classes, but I was born to do it. I am really excited for the educational part (as nerdy as that is). I met up with Melanie and we toured the dorms a bit at ERC. I liked them. They were so quaint and cute. I love the community feel. I could totally fit in. AND EVERYONE WAS SO BEACH READY?!!? And Cafe Ventura was freaking BEAUTIFUL!!! I loved the clothing store. I bought one tee but I was ready to buy the whole store (though it is expensive). I met up with Maggie at the clothing store. We were so overexcited about the clothes, the little key chains, and all the knick knacks. I loved it.

After visiting UCSD, we went to LA or mostly Koreatown to eat and hang. We ate at a great soondobu place. I was so hungry and I was so full afterwards. They had the coolest bathroom. They even had a dental rinse thing. I sound like a hick for being so amazed. I realized a lot of places outside of Sacramento do not have paper towels though. They prefer those hand dry machine things. I guess it saves energy and waste. They also have lots of automatic hand soaps and toilets (though I've come across that before, don't worry I am not that much of a Valley Girl). We went to a little Korean mall. My sister and I bought cute cell charms and a Boys Over Flower calendar. Yes, we are fan girly like that. I enjoyed myself though. It was very refreshing to have fun in LA. I am glad I was not accepted into UCLA. I would have gone broke spending money in all those cute little ethnic towns and cool places. Damn, Im scared of my future self spending so much money on anything I think is worthy.

I didn't get to take many pictures as I would have liked.
We were too busy looking to capture moments.

Playing a little motion blur in the car



My parents walking onto the UCSD campus.



Kingston's back

ONE of the nice libraries at UCSD.
It has amazing architecture.



Just some of the food we got. Sorry this only shows kimchi.
They gave amazing banchan though.

I am pretty secure on my decision about UCSD and I am happy about it. I talked to my other friends about their college visits and they seem happy to go to their separate colleges too and I am happy for them. I am not sad yet about separating because all I can think about is the great possibilities out there for all of us and how happy we will be. I kind of already sense who I will remain close with. I won't be disillusioned too much by it.

The only sad thing to me is thinking about how my family will change. After two days, Sophie my baby sister looked different after our trip. Well one it was the first time we were away from her so she only ate very little so her cheeks evened out. But she seemed so much bigger to me in a way. I cannot imagine how she will look when I come back after like five or six months. And the same with the rest of my family. I don't know if I will be homesick or not. Probably very but I just can't imagine it. There has only been one moment in my life where I was away from my parents but at least I was with my siblings during that time. I think I can handle it (more than my father can). He is convinced I cannot live without him. He even proposes the family move to San Diego. When I leave I feel like my siblings and my mom will have to hold him down so he wont go after me. As funny as that is, it is touching. But my family is my family, they will always be there. I do not take them for granted. I just hope they will not lock me up for the time before I go. I want to savor my moments with my friends also because I know after this, we will never be ALTOGETHER again in the same way. It will always be separated after this. I don't feel sentimental in my heart about it yet.

But it is in the back of my mind.

But I don't want to be a Negative Nancy about it. I am a positive person and things always turn out right in the end, even though the boys around me don't always believe it. Why do I keep making friends with guys who are so pessimistic about life?

These songs have been stuck in my head. We made mix cds for the trip and we played these songs over and over again.

Lollipop - Big Bang & 2NE1

SORRY SORRY - Super Junior

---christina