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Saturday, March 07, 2009

still seventeen and sweeet?

last week i asked my teacher to print out a copy of my recommendation letter for me, to send out to a scholarship program. it was a last minute thing, and then at the last minute i decided not to send it in, because i realized i don't actually qualify as low-income for them, as they had a big chart and everything. but i felt that it would be weird just telling my teacher "nevermind," so i figured i'd pick it up anyways; besides, i've always wanted to see what he had to say about me. however, when i went into his classroom to get it, i felt extremely bad, like i was lying to him and being canniving, taking advantage of him. i went in to find him his usual goofy, nice, sweet self, wishing me "good luck" on that scholarship, and handing me the letter sealed up in a nice envelope with the name of the scholarship written on it and everything. his name. my name. everything. i felt horrible, taking that letter from him, which he specifically sealed up so that i would not be able to read. and i felt bad, that i felt bad and still ended up reading it! and then i felt even more bad, because i read it, and he said the nicest things about me. compared to all of the other letters of recommendation i've recieved (and read), his is without a doubt, the most moving and inspirational. i teared up. i didn't know that he had so much to think of me about. it made me feel really good, although not, at the same time. partially because he said that i started out with some "second-language issues" (lol) but mostly because i felt like i lied and cheated him. well. i dont know what else to say. i do, seriously, have to make something delicious for him though. which i've already planned to do, for him and everyone else who wrote me a recommendation letter :)

today was my mom's birthday! and my half-birthday. and today, officially marks the fact that i wasted $300 on drivers ed to amount to nothing. no drivers license. and an expired permit. whoo. now i can go get my permit again without having to bring all my paperwork.



P.S. YAY FOR ANOOP-DAWG ♥ i thought i was the only one who liked him, but apparently everyone does :)
-PACHIA

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